FREE, incident, FIXED UP, stolen, impounded, ReCoVeReD

That's the story of my 1986 Honda Civic Wagovan's's life with me... and it's only been about a month. I've been house and giant dog sitting since last Friday. Tedium mixed with movies mixed with grabbing human sized pieces of dog poop through the NY Times plastic. I performed my duties admirably. The dog felt loved, plus it was fed, didn't maul or get run over. The house didn't break, nothing burnt, but, of course, during my last night of duty my car had to get stolen. Man, I guess I'm rounding up 50things so far this year that I just wish wouldn't've happened. They tore the ignition switch to hell, breaking metal and removing the key cylinder so a simple screwdriver can enable starting. They stole the face plate of my 2week old cd/mp3(on CD) player... I brilliantly removed the face and put it in my glove box. Oddly they also stole a gallon of both radiator & windshield washer fluids. On top of it all, they yanked an industrial quality ohm/voltmeter that belonged to the person I was house sitting for... yes, I had permission to use it. OK, that all said, there's been at least 60 really good things to happen so far this year. I'm pretty sure I'm still on the plus side. I am an incredible fixer and will fix the ignition switch... until then I'll use a screwdriver to keep from getting the 72hr ticket.
*If you've ever stolen a car, you suck.
**I am not a fan of the cops and these shit teenagers made me need the authorities. for this they doubly suck.
***I had to pay $100 to get my car out of the tow yard, the shit teenagers now tripley suck
****They did leave a skateboard, Honda/house/and? keys, and chapstick in the car. They still triplely suck
*****One of the kids had a really unusual last name (good ol' diligent cop let me see the names, think that's illegal)... maybe I should pay them a visit, try the keys out and rob them... ok, I won't do that. Negativity merely begets negativity.
******Shorting stocks is wonderful, although the whole uptick rule is bogus if you ask me. Regardless, must get used to it if I'm gonna make any money the next few years in the market.
*******I mean, this is a 1986 Honda we're talking about here. You can get one offa Craig's List for like a nickel. Bastard, shit teenagers.
********Steal from corporations or rich people or not at all, not from everyday schmoes.