I'm Capable enough, sure, but this is What i've done

My 10th&January swim happened in more than typical Seattle style. Cold, rain, and drear. What made it more were the midwestern sized wallops for raindrops. All I can say is I just didn't wanna do the stupid, goddamn swim, for the umpteenth time already. Too much or too little on my brain; maybe I even had something to do, but I didn't. Earlier I'd shot some pool by myself and couldn't really catch another movie as I'd already seen a couple... one for Friday and another for Saturday.
Preparing for the swim was an anxiety heavy process for me. Collection of wares, put on swim trunks under jeans, driving over, changing, getting in, swimming, getting out, cursing, drying and walking back, the back seat and those wonderful warm clothes + longjohns, smoking and smiling, leaving as a champion. Once the water came into view, my heart started pounding, my jokes became starkly less pee-cee. Robe, towel & swim shoes all in place, like a gothic Rocky with anemic enthusiasm I left the car for the water. On our way we passed rough ones. But I wouldn't be phased, er, I wasn't able as the adreneline in my blood was in such concentrations that my vision was fish eyed, my stomach hungry, and my attention pointed only at my curled fingers. The camera-woman was ready so I tore off the robe, yelled a noise and plunged in. No seaweed, thank god.

April September
May October
June November
July December
August

Them Ain't Boots

On Wednesday I went skiiing for the first time since Dec2000. Dropped my pole on the ski lift once and face planted 3times. Coulda been consequences for such a trip in the frail physical state that I'm in. About threeweeks ago, in a burst, I ran spastically with arms flailing for three or four Columbus, OH blocks. My onestrap backpack loaded with a wide&heavy book written by a nemesis of the moralistic anti-globalization front bounced and wiggled and shifted... dislocating, as I later selfdiagnosed (also my doctor sorta laughed at me without actually laughing... I don't like him... want a new one, but how the hell do you get a new doctor? hell if I know), one-a my ribs from it's cartilage extension. Weeks followed where the slightest contact to the affected area would hit me with a brief but epic jolt of lightning pain through my abninom(sp?) and back. It was actually kinda nice for a while, near phyisically unable to hug anyone. Of course now that I'm feeling in the range of 93-6% better there is no one to hug me.
My grandmother died. First death in my family that I think of as family since I've been alive. I tell you, it was a strange feeling not being sad over her death. Long dance with alzhiemers, distance, combined with a big family visit with her in September layed the stage for me to look forward to the funeral. So threedays after returning to Seattle I was back to Ohio... blah blah blah... It was actually a really good and nice expirience outside-a the small town, over evangelizing pastor(deciever). Kinda a sidenote but really completely unrelated, I really do make these decisions to just throw wrenches in the gears of things running smoothly in my world. BAM!
I saw Woody Allen's new movie, "Match Point". I've let it settle for a couple-a days now and liike it even more. Not his standard fare. It may take some patience to make it through the first 3rd or so of the movie. The dialogue is somewhat stagey, stilted, or formal, take your pick, but works. If you're familiar with Dostoyezski's "Crime & Punishment" you'll be even more in for a treat than the others fortunate enough to what this puppy. I know it sounds pretensious, "Match Point" fucks around with the essential cruxs of C&P. Years and years and a hundred years ago I dealt with a serious dose of culture shock by reading a massive amount of Dostoyezski... ending with "Crime & Punishment". I don't think I've read a book as well or with as much comprehension as I did with that reading of C&P.